Darrius Heyward-Bey is who Cris Carter said he was!
Back in August, I wondered how long it would take for Hey-Bey to catch on. I now know that timeline lies somewhere between never and don’t hold your breath.
Blaming Al Davis, Tom Cable or JaMarcus Russell for the poor performance of the Oakland Raiders this season is clichéd. Here at JBB, I pride myself on staying one step ahead of the competition.
Therefore, I’m pinning the 16-10 loss the Raiders suffered against the Kansas City Chiefs on the NFL’s highest paid sprinter – Darrius Heyward-Bey.
Sure, Russell’s 9 completions on 24 attempts won’t win many games in NFL Europe let alone in Canadian Football. Giving up a 44-yard touchdown run on a 4th and 1 isn’t going to help the latest lame duck head coach of the Silver and Black keep his job. However, when a receiver is given more than $20-million in guaranteed cash and he can’t hold onto a pass that hits him between the 1 and the 2 on the front of his jersey, then he’s clearly bit off more than he can chew from the fruit that falls from the professional football employment tree.
Russell didn’t make many great throws today, so during those blizzards in hell when he does put one on the money his receivers need to stick it in their wallet and not make change. Heyward-Bey may one day overcome his Roberto Durans, until then he’s just going to be known as the guy who couldn’t catch a cold if he were sporting a Speedo in Nome, Alaska.
When Tom Cable finally grew enough sack to not call one of his four Tecmo plays, his top pick let him and the entire Raider organization down.
With his team needing a big play; his quarterback needing a lift; his fans desperate for hope. Darrius Heyward-Bey took a perfect pass that sailed more than 60-yards in the air from JaMarcus Russell and dropped it on the one-yard line. He later made a mess out of a perfect throw from Bruce Gradkowski late in the game.
DHB’s first drop cost his team field position and possibly a touchdown. His second Braylon might just have cost his team the game as his awful hands batted the ball into the grasps of the Kansas City secondary.
Game. Set. Match.
Todd Haley got his first win in Oakland and gave the Chief franchise their 7th straight victory in the East Bay.
The Raiders haven’t beaten the Chiefs in Oakland since the last time the Silver and Black played in the Super Bowl.
Seven long years and counting.
At this rate, the next time the Raiders get a “W” against the Chiefs in the Coliseum, the NFL’s biggest game won’t even be known as the Super Bowl anymore.
So, to get in front of the curve once again, let’s just call the Super Bowl the ESPN Bowl brought to you by Disney and broadcasted on ABC.
There you have it.
Seven years from now, when the Raiders will be on their 15th coach since 2003, and JaMarcus Russell is leading the Patriots to the Mickey Mouse Bowl, Darrius Heyward-Bey will be bagging groceries with Tom Cable at a Safeway in Oakland. Then the Raiders might be able to beat the Chargers anywhere and win against the Chiefs at home.
Until that happens, I guess we’ll just be waiting to hear the name Taylor Mays called with the third pick of the NFL draft in 2010.
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